Emotions

* I am a relationship retard. So I found it funny when a friend told me that she vicariously lives her love life through the exploits of other people, myself included. I take it back, it's not funny after all, on the contrary, it's really quite sad.

* Happiness is a big, big frozen Hershey's Kiss placed in the microwave for approximately 30 secs until it becomes gooey, but not too soft so as to be classified as hot fudge. Get a spoon, turn on the tv and then bathe in the warmth that only chocolate can bring.

* Easily irritated (check). Drastic moodswings (check). Forever hungry (check). Unusual cravings for salty and sweet food (check). General feeling of lethargy (check). The verdict's out, the red flag will be up soon.

* This line from a "classic" never fails to crack me up: My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hun! Three claps for those who can guess the song :)