I'm so wired up today! I have a lot of things zipping through my mind. Even my dreams acted as virtual post-its of all that I'm currently anxious over.
- I'm dreading the upcoming two weeks and the barrage of exams they will bring! (Papa Jesus take me now)
- I'm worried about her because I've never seen her this sad and depressed before.
- I'm annoyed with myself because I thought I was totally over the f*cker, but I still find myself giggling and fixing my hair in his immediate vicinity!
- I joined something I totally suck at, all because I made a promise that I would join and at the time of joining I didn't realize I would be that sucky. Now I get palpitations with just the thought of going onstage, but a promise is a promise (and it doesn't help that all of my Catholic guilt kicks into overdrive at the mere mention of Charivari). I'll just watermelon my way through the ordeal (as usual).
- I offered to write for the Lex mostly as a gesture of peace (I know you're reading this JP, peace na tayo right?), but now I don't know where I'm going to steal the needed time to do my piece.
- I'll be driving home late again from QC tonight and that's usually enough source of stress for me.
- I had money issues (which turned out to be principle-issues) with my mom yesterday and it saddens me when we fight because we're both the non-confrontational type, so we just end up giving each other the silent treatment. Sometimes I wish we could just have a scream fest and get it all over with, but I choose to assert my being a Drama Queen in other venues, not through that.
Okay, my ranting's over and done with. (exhale)
What's so great about putting everything down in writing is that I can actually confront them better than if they were just hazy nagging ideas wandering through my mind. By relegating them to paper, they become concrete and concrete things can be easily disposed of. I now wait in anticipation at the thought of crossing out those above mentioned things one by one.
That is my only source of pleasure for now. How utterly dismal.