Hard Won Peace

Finally, that protracted chapter in my life is over. I can now confront my ghosts and demons (of course, that doesn't mean I'll now actively pursue said ghosts and demons) without the danger of breaking down into overacting hystrionics. I've stepped off the roller coaster into the calm and serene waters of everyday living. Sure it's not as exciting nor as thrilling as a triple loop roller coaster, but it will do for now. Besides, I don't think my heart can weather another round any time soon.

So this is what being at peace with yourself feels like. Hmmm....not bad.

Ramblings

It's Saturday night and I'm home typing this entry. The sadder thing is that it's exactly where I want to be. This whole week has been physically draining for me and so I more than welcome the chance to rest and recuperate. I've never felt this fragile since I was hospitalized for dengue fever a few years back. It's scary how your body can sometimes do a 180 on you. You think you're okay and then a few minutes later, you're in the bathroom coughing like crazy until tears start streaming down your face (thanks for the literal pat on the back toni!). Somehow, while writing this, I'm reminded of the cigarette vendor in Amelie and I realize just how annoying it is to listen to a litany of someone's aches and pains, so I'll just stop now.

I've decided to stop obsessing about future plans (like what I did with the Fete and my aborted trip to Bohol) because it's just like handing out an open invitation for the universe to throw a monkey wrench into your well-oiled itinerary (hello Infanta Quezon!). Besides, it's usually those spur of the moment outings that end up most memorable and usually end up happening. Somehow, I'm addicted to lists and making plans but making those plans into reality is something I still have to work on.

One sure thing though, is the Inter-C party next Saturday to be hosted by 2-C. Remember sophomores, the bar has been raised from last year's fabulous bash. Bangus and Paradox, are you sure you guys are up to the challenge? :) Last year had Bacon Ben with Beer; Tequila shots in the dark which triggered a romance; an impromptu swimming party and a trashed house. What will this year bring? Stay tuned for more news next week.

Charmaine left for Australia tonight for a three-week training session. So now I'm trying to be extra nice to Mik seeing that he has no mommy around. Instead of waiting 10 minutes before I start bugging him to get off the computer, I now wait for a FULL 15 minutes.

I look at old married couples and I envy just how comfortable they are with each other. That's exactly what I want. I want to flip my life calendar 40 years into the future and be an old fart with another old fart. We'll be reading the newspaper (I'll have the Features and he'll have the Headlines) while waiting for the grandkids to come over and I'll constantly remind him about his medications and he'll be mad at me because of my incessant nagging. Ah, bliss :)

I'm looking at a copy of The Da Vinci Code right now. I have no idea whose it is, just that it's right in front of me and it's killing me. It's tempting me to pick it up and leaf through it's controversial pages. But I know that once I start, I won't be able to put it down. So NO. NO. NO. NO. There's a time and place for everything, and now is not the time for The Da Vinci Code.

Things are steady and calm. School is steady, in a frantic but predictable sort of way. But I've been assessing my relationship with my friends. I'm sad to note that I have no best buddy here in Manila. The kind I can just call and yank whenever I want to go to the mall or hang out. Somehow, hanging out has become a logistical nightmare these days, requiring a flurry of text messages to ascertain everyone's availability at a certain day and time. That's what happens when you grow up. So now I'm left without a buddy because it's either he/she's: a-at work, b-in school, c-no longer talking to me. Sigh, new buddy wanted. Anyone can apply. Preferrably someone in the Alabang-Paranaque-Las Pinas area. Sige na! Let's hang! :)

So thus endeth my ramblings.

Meet Prof Antonio "Bote" Bautista

Bote: Can a torn panty, not owned by the plaintiff nor the defendant, be presented as evidence in court? (shuffles card and picks one out) Guballa! Answer.

Khay: Sir yes sir. A torn panty even though it belonged neither to the plaintiff nor the defendant can still be presented as evidence in court.

Bote: Really? Why?

Khay: Sir, because the torn panty is in the form of a demonstrative evidence. A demonstrative evidence is a tangible item (such as maps, diagrams and models) not directly involved in the litigated occurence...

Bote: (interrupting her and turning to the class) What do you call that panty that girls wear when they don't want their panty-lines to show when they're wearing tight pants?

Khay: S-sir?

Bote: I think it's called a V-neck...

Khay: Sir, it's called a T-back.

Bote: CORRECT! You're very good! I like you! Sit down.

A Bote quote: Class, if we were doing a strip recitation, you'd all be naked now!

Sneaky Post

I should be studying right now. I promised to "forgive" myself for cutting property class if I immediately studied after I got home. So why am I blogging away instead of hitting the books? Have I no control?! Am I that weak-willed?! Yup and yup.

Anyway, I've always been a very forgiving person so I'm sure I'll end up forgiving myself for this transgression. As for my punishment for myself, I'll just limit my Go Nuts Donuts intake this week to 3 instead of my usual 4 (desert is very important IMHO). Grabe! I'm so disciplined it's almost bootcamp like :)

The virus that's been going around has finally hit me too. I have tonsilitis (which was aggravated by a chocolate donut earlier today Sabi ko na nga ba wrong mistake yung donut na yon, but what a way to go...) and a persistent cough that's making it difficult for me to hide in the background during class time. I personally believe in the "no sudden movements" rule during class time. I think the professors are just jamming when they say that they call students for recitation at random, they even make a show of shuffling the cards and then pulling one out from the middle. Oh c'mon, I know that they WILL the card they want to appear. They're THAT devious.

So anyway, you can just imagine how impossible it is to play invisible when you're coughing the sticky phlegm out from your lungs.

Jill: Shit...di ako nag-aral (cough-cough). I hope he doesn't (cough) call (cough) me. (attempting to activate invisibility mode)

Prof: So who's the lucky person to be roasted today. (card shuffle) Ah, Sabitsana!

Of course, my theory hasn't been scientifically proven yet, but I can feel that it's just a matter of time before it is finally revealed that the secret requirement in order to qualify as a professor in law is a keen sense of "bulakbol radar". For how do you explain them calling on you to recite on the one and only case, out of a stack of 20, which you sadly failed to read? Coincidence? I think not.

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From Go-Quiz.com

Sabitski Point with the two hottest daddies in the universe. Love the "I just got out of bed, but am still sooo hot" look on Santi :)

TGIF

I never knew that I could welcome a day with this much fervor. THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!

The whole week has been really stressful. Although I'm an irregular student, the load being extremely wonderful (note the sarcasm) coupled with my return to carpooling, always leaves me dead tired. Right now, my idea of bliss would be to sleep for 12 hours straight without thoughts of law school intruding into my dreams. It's not like I get enough Law in the Grand Manner during the day, even my dreams are peppered with Malcolm related things. Argh!

Some people might think it's unwise that I returned to carpooling, seeing that I live in Paranaque/Las Pinas and I go to school in UP Diliman. But there's just something about living at home that dorming can never replace. Of course, it's more convenient to just board somewhere near, but I just got so lonely and miserable in my dorm room that I might have even been clinically depressed for a time there. For no matter how late I returned, I was always the first one in and being alone with my nagging thoughts was a real downer. Looking back now, I should have at least brought a radio along. Listening to the radio would have been much better than blankly staring at the walls (as I sometimes found myself doing then).

But more than the convenience that dorming brought, I wanted to stay near school for another reason. A personal reason. However, said personal reason never went beyond the platonic stage although it almost did (I think) and things were never quite the same between us ever again. At present, I would be straining the definition of a friend if I were still to call him as such. Although it's been more than a year now, I still get sad when I think about what I lost.

It's never pleasant to lose one of your bestfriends.

So if you're reading this and you suspect that it's you. Yes, it is you.

Thank You!

Sabitski Point would like to say "Thank You!" to our favorite cousin in the world, Tessa, for generously sending over a shirt from Bohol. My letter must have made her guilty huh?

What's so great about it is that it has a tarsier in front. So if I can't go to the tarsier, the tarsier will go to me. :)

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Dear Tessa,

Please stop texting me na about the fun time you're having there in Bohol no! I really don't care! So what if you're billeted in a fancy hotel, with a pool and jacuzzi and great (free) food?! So what?! It's not like I'm inggit no! Not. at. all.

Besides, it's not like I'm not having fun myself. While you're playing tourist and soaking up new sights, I've been busy myself with so many fun, fun, fun things. Like, um, reading jurisprudence on judicial notice! Grabe, you have absolutely no idea just how riveting and exciting it is to learn about the intricacies of the two types of judicial notice (mandatory and discretionary, if you really want to know). Dapat nga, you should be the one inggit of me, not the other way around. Of course, I'm just saying that as a hypothetical thingymajig. Because, as I already said, I'm so not naiinggit of you right now. So not.

I mean, it's not like I want to go swimming in Panglao (nog-nog alert); or see the Chocolate Hills (once you've seen one hill...) or have my picture taken with a tarsier (those bug-eyed yucky-kadiri mammals). That's so touristy kaya! Yuckers!

So stop na no! Or else I'll hit you na on the face with my baby pink Jelly Kelly (a certified original, not from that japex heaven Greenhills) the next time I see you.

Your Loving Cousin,
Jill

Dilemma

To my dear readers and fans (all three of you),

Sabitski Point is at a quandary at present. For the first time in months, I actually have a weekend gimmick that will make any weekend warrior proud. However, I am now faced with TWO possible gimmicks, each one equally alluring and seductive as the other. I have to choose one because they are not mutually compatible. This is where you all come in, please log in your votes, comments, suggestions with regard to the two choices soon to be laid bare before you. No comment is too insignificant nor too grand that will not be contemplated upon by my humble self.

The choices are:

A) An overnight stay at some posh resort with FREE jetski and speedboat. The whole family is going and will be spending father's day there.

B) Attending the Fete de la Musique at Eastwood. I've been wanting to go for the past two years, but it has only been this year that the opportunity to grace the event became possible. I want to have Penny Lane moments (minus the backstage services of course) and play Band-Aid the entire night and have lots of photo-ops with famous people.

So that's about it. Please, please, please put in your two cents' worth.

Peekchur, Peekchur Part Two



Ligaya and Pascal (a.k.a Mr. and Mrs. Krecke) at our house. Also in the pic are Riza, my mom, Margaret and Tita Jean.



Ligaya living the la-la life in Luxembourg. (that looks really cold!)



My niece Clarissa Sabitsana Touchstone.



She's turning one this month and so she's showing off. Look everybody! I can stand on my own! :)



Hanging out with her Tito Oliver.

P.s.

Thanks to Ligaya and kuya Oliver for the pix

Things to do

I woke up today with the most ridiculous smile on my face, I guess this silly girl was excited because this was going to be a busy day and so a list was necessary! Yey! I love making lists.

I'm not really as OC as most of the people I know (you know who you are). My notes (with my horrible handwriting) are all written in dull black (or leady-y gray); I'm happy with just one dermatograph for my books (all those bright colors give me a splitting headache); I have no strict way of arranging my things (although I do try to keep my closet color-coordinated, try being the operative word) and I firmly believe that there is something grossly unnatural about a neat and tidy room (messiness equates to character, I always say). However, the same cannot be said about me and my lists. I live to make lists (but completing all the items in the said list is another story altogether). I get a certain sense of satisfaction in putting little check marks beside each item. I feel so accomplished and so organized, which is always good.

Looking back at my old journals, I now see that they were more than the "Dear Diary" variety (although I did have a lot of cringe-worthy entries. Man! I had a loooot of crushes pala. I was so Sweet Valley High in my orientation) as they were the "Things to do", "Places to go to", "Christmas List" type. My cousin and I, one boring summer day back in 1999, even made a "Life Checklist". These were the 20 things on my list:

1. Go to Boracay (done)
2. Be a student assistant (done)
3. Work in a magazine (nope)
4. Finish college (done)
5. Tour Europe (nope)
6. Live abroad for awhile (nope)
7. Fall madly in love (done)
8. Get a teaching job (done)
9. Have something published (done)
10. Get drunk (DONE!)
11. Get a diver's license (nope)
12. Enter law school (done)
13. Learn to cook (done)
14. Wear a bikini (done)
15. Learn a foreign language (done. Je parle un peu francais)
16. Work in a cruise ship (nope)
17. Create a webpage (done)
18. Watch a Broadway play (nope)
19. Donate blood (done)
20. Travel by myself (nope)

So that's 13 out of 20 (and that's mostly because the other unaccomplished things require money, which this student still does not have a lot of.) Not bad. My nineteen year old self would have been proud.

Anyway, today is also a list-worthy day and here it is.

1. Collate readings
2. Organize sales readings
3. Buy shoes
4. Buy school supplies
5. Study transpo
6. Start on torts paper
7. Deposit CD remittances
8. Organize shoe closet
9. Clean the war room

Of course, I'm obviously going to do nos. 3 and 4 first and I have the whole weekend to do nos. 5 and 6. Just because I made a list doesn't necessarily mean that I have to accomplish everything on it right away. Making a list already shows my good faith and good intention and that's more than anyone could ever ask for.

Homesick

These are the things I would rather be doing now.

I want to be seated at our back porch devouring this view.



I want to demolish a pizza in this place.



I want to go swimming in this beach.



I want to see the sunset from this vantage point.



I want to go back to Moalboal Cebu, where time is slower and the days gracefully blend into each other. Isn't it obvious just how homesick I am? And this post is not making things any easier.Sigh.

P.S.
Sabitski point would like to give a shout-out to kuya Oliver who took the time out to call our grandparents (who are in town for their regular medical check-ups) this morning. I'll immediately inform you if I have new tsismis or balita. Isn't that what Instant Messenger is for?

Letter of the Day

I was so happy to receive this email from my cousin/tita Ligaya (she's really my aunt, but because she's only 3 years older than me, it seems quite ridiculous to call her Tita Ligaya). I missed her wedding in Cebu (damn law school!), I missed her when she visited the house before going back to Luxembourg (damn law school!) and I'll probably miss her again when she returns to visit (damn...you know the drill :).

Anyway, this is the first email I received from her since she left for Luxembourg. I'm glad to see she's having a ball on the other side of the planet.

Ligaya writes:

Hi Jill kumusta ka na??? sayang hindi kita na meet last time....busy ka daw sa study mo.Ok lang ako dito. sa Aug.balik ako sa cebu! pero mga 3 weeks lang kasi sa sept. i´ll continue my french and german language class ...pagkatapos mag trabaho na ako para magka pera naman(heheehehe)...pero now i can speak and understand french and german(hindi pa nga lang fluent...) We are planning to spend christmas and new year in new york this year....I dont like christmas here in europe napaka boring!!! mas maganda pa rin dyan sa atin.Spring na ngayon dito kaya lumalabas na ako....pag winter kasi ayoko mag commute..(lumabas pagka ignorante ,takot sa snow)pero ngayon halos everyday ako mag laag laag,shopping!!!!!!!!!(yan ang favorite ko dito) may kapitbahay ako palagi ko kasama polish woman ka age ko rin ..minsan abot kami ng germany laag! 2 lang na cebuana kaibigan ko dito pero minsan lang kami magkita kasi malayo sila.

Nahala oi, regards na lang ako dyan ...graduate na si Francis???? sige jill goodluck sa studies mo..back to school na naman....hehehehe...

miss u all there,
ligaya

I'm thinking of changing my template again, this pink one is getting stale. But I'm too tired to surf for a new template and then transfer all my goodies to the new template. Oh well, some other time na lang. Gonna get me some shut-eye first before tackling the law.

New Housemates

Sabitski Point would like to welcome the "Return of the Comeback Kids" a.k.a. my brother (Santi), sister-in-law (Charmaine) and nephew (Mick).


Of course, life would be more exciting with this gremlin back in the household 24/7. I can just imagine the future power struggles over the computer and television because Mick is addicted to www.cartoonnetwork.com (or cartoon-cartoon network as he calls it) and always stakes his permanent claim on the computer and boob-tube every time he visits, much to the chagrin of everyone around him. However, all this is still beside the general chaos that a little boy wreaks with just his immediate presence. It's gonna be an exciting year, that's for sure. Three more people in an already crowded household equates to a virtual party every day (or a very tense household. But only time will tell because, hopefully, things will be different now).

Oh yeah, and having my brother back home again is also a plus :)

Last Hurrah

So it's the last weekend before school starts. I'm through with my yearly summer island hopping (which was cut short, no thanks to that partypooper Dindo); logged enough tv time to make even the most ardent couch potato proud ; spent quality time with my family to the point that we've become quite sick of each other and the insect bites and jellyfish stings on my arms and legs have swelled down into the most unflattering specks of brown (Note: the Godiva anti-jellyfish sting sunblock is the biggest rip-off of the season. I know of four people, including myself, who bought it but still got stung). Yup, I think I've had enough of summer. It's time to pack the swimwear and the flip-flops and air out the jackets and boots (oooh...boots! hehehehe).

Of course, I have a sneaking suspicion that less than a month into the schoolyear, I'll be retracting the above paragraph and praying for the next long vacation to harken. But as of the moment, I more than welcome the respite that school will bring. Sure.

Back to school list
1. multivitamins- kasi bawal magkasakit sa law school
2. school supplies- one of the few fun things in studying. Somehow, studying seems so much more enjoyable when you're faced with not one, but SEVEN different colored highlighters! (hi joan and juno!)
3. sense of humor- the most important sense, as one beauty contestant masquerading as a rocket scientist proclaimed.
4. a big slice of humble pie- pride? what pride?
5. happy thoughts/memories- things you can look back on when things look grim and dreary (read: midterms)
6. ice cream- mmmm....chocolate....

So there, I'm prepping myself up for the upcoming Malcolm onslaught. But before I succumb to the inevitable, I'm going out for one more gimik with the gang. As hot momma Ella said "Lubos-lubusin mo na ang saya before school starts", because come June 7, 2004, a dark cloud will once again loom over the entire Malcolm-dom and it's subjects will once again be reduced to their automated states.

Confessions of a Choir Girl Priss

For all my talk of moving out of one's comfort zone and extending oneself to the point of discomfort, I am sadly very content to be inside my bubble and, anyway, I have never been flexible.

Maybe it's a mixture of spending 10 years in a Catholic school + always wanting to please my parents + not being proactive enough, hence I've become this pathetic person.

Just blowing off some steam here. I can't even muster up the courage to go to UP just to see if I passed freaking administrative law. I'd rather simmer at home, anxiously biting my nails than to march up to the secretary's office and then demand for my TCG. Obviously, I'm a firm believer in the credo that "What you don't know won't hurt you."

Oh well. I'm giving myself a good kick right now (ouch!)and tomorrow I'm commuting to UP (an extra punishment for myself because Bebengski is color coded every Friday) and finally facing the music. Oh yes, I haven't been the best student in the law school world and so there are repercussions to be faced.

Law school life, oh my law school life, every second kay ganda

P.S.
If you're reading this, I'm really sorry but it's not gonna work out. I was just being polite, please don't mistake that for interest.

Brain Drain

I can't think of anything coherent to blog about. My blogger juices run dry (it's about time! some wise-ass might say).

Somehow, my blogger instincts are overriden by an impending state of doom, that being enrollment and the release of grades. Pasado kaya ako o take two na naman?! Argh!

To the incoming Malcolm freshmen, welcome to the jungle :)