Today was a very emotional day for me.
I finally had my long overdue talk with my dad (no thanks in part to my sister's meddling!) and at the first sign that this was going to be "the talk", i felt my eyes watering up. He reminded me of how lucky I was to be where I was, how literally thousands would beg, steal and kill to be in my shoes.
Although I knew this was coming and I thought I was prepared, all I could say was "Ayoko na talaga" over and over again before succumbing to tears.
I realized then that the answer: I was not happy anymore/ I was miserable where I was, just did not cut it with my family. Personal feelings took a back seat to one's obligations and duties to the family. Did I ever mention that my family sees itself as the Corleone family in The Godfather? My tito Sandy is Michael while my tatay is Santino, which is funny because they both named their sons Michael and Santino respectively. But I digress.
But my tatay took a PLDT "Kung saan ka masaya, suportahan taka" kind of stance and didn't raise the issue anymore. It was a pretty emotional moment, to tell you frankly, and I didn't have PMS to pin the blame on, like I usually do. Maybe it's about time to come out in the open and come clean. Hello, my name is Jill and I'm a closet crybaby. (Hello Jill!)
I took a drive to my dorm and cleaned out my mess. I said goodbye to my roommate Karen, but not too loudly because the new roomie was still asleep. It was pretty amazing that 1.5 years of stay could be packed in one large bag, a big wire basket and a laundry bag filled with shoes. I guess that's why I've never been too attached to material objects, because if I were to gauge my life on my material possessions, I would probably have a bag of junk and used clothing. So what does that say about my life?! Again, I digress.
So now I'm at another crossroad. However this time, no one's prodding me on which fork to take. And that's the way I like it.